My mother also had bipolar & she was not able to get help with meds or ECT, but she was an alcoholic, too, so that didn't help. She told us children she wished we were dead & was violent. She finally succeeded in committing suicide &, I know this sounds bad, but it was a relief that she was now out of that emotional pain & we kids could finally have some peace. Of course, we all carry scars from that & need to heal. I also developed bipolar & could see many similarities to her in myself, which scared me quite a bit. Because of my bipolar, my father couldn't have a relationship with me anymore. He couldn't stand to see me turning into my mother. I tried to have a relationship with him when I got well on medication, but he refused to talk to me. That hurt a lot to be rejected by both parents, but, you know I've made a life for myself & I regret that I couldn't have a normal mother & father relationship, but it doesn't haunt me anymore like it did. The meds & therapy helped me so much to get a grip on what good things in life I do have.

There is hope for you. You can't pick your family, but you can withdraw from them if they are harmful to your mental health. I think that is a good decision.

P.S. My mother was from N.Z. also. Take care, zombiette.