My bf got me tickets to a Neil Young and Crazy Horse concert for my birthday. The concert is on Sunday in Vancouver so we will be leaving tomorrow. I have wanted to see him for so long, we missed him by one day when we were in Nevada. So OMG I am soooooo excited!!!! Thrilled!! Didn't think it would ever happen, and not too many people I really want to see in concert like this.

I had told him I was worried I would not get the chance before Old Neil died, the man is getting pretty old, think he is about 70 now. So the terrible news, my brother in laws mother, who I had a thread about passed away 7 pm last night. It was apparently not a peaceful passing at all, bleeding from the mouth for quite a while, feeding tubes, oxygen, a whole lots of morphine to try to put her absolute restlessness and discomfort down. It's not fair at all. Thank goodness they made it there in time to see her for the last time, but they seem to be quite in shock after talking to them last night.

Weird how I wanted to see Mr.Young before he dies, and now she has died instead, the timing. I feel confused. Conflicted because I was to feel excited about this, and at the same time that feels incredibly selfish at this time. Knowing my loved ones are in incredible pain is a bit too much for me to think about, my heart hurts soo much. I understand death is part of life, it's the pain for the ones left behind that's too much. Her death saddens me so much. I always looked up to this women, she was a good mentor to me in how to live gracefully.

I have always believed there is some magic in snow, snow the blanket of death that covers the land. I know I am gonna be 34 and still believe in some magic. I usually use science, quantum theories to guide me and draw spirituality from it, but this morning I woke to snow. The majestic season of death, it is beautiful at the same time. And maybe it's snowing today for a reason, yeah weather, cold fronts, blah blah, could happen just as easily today, tomorrow , next week. But maybe I will take some peace in it falling today. Maybe so I can find the beauty in death right now. The circle's ends meet, where the earth welcomes you back to being unified as one with it, and NOT seemingly of it..separate. The infinitum .. the magic that flows over the linear.