I keep coming back to this thread trying to figure out how to answer this. It's confusing to me. I think that I am connected to my T although at times I seriously doubt this. As far as the control, I try so very hard to always be in control in my life and in T. Part of the reason that I don't drink or do drugs is that I am terrified to lose control- that leads to being vulnerable and danger. Over the years working with T I have begun to let down my guard and I find that at times I can't control my emotions. Although it terrifies me, the connection with T has allowed me to accept that it is safe within his office to let go and cry if I need to or say what needs to be said. It is very hard and I often send apologetic emails after any session where I let the control slip and emotions come out (he of course, tells me that I don't need to apologize but I feel the need).