I am scared that my primary doc's office might put me in the hospital. I am still having heart problems, only we are adding in that the medication is now causing my heart rate and B/P to go too low or be screwed up in some way. Yesterday I knew my pulse was running low to mid 40's, and I wasn't feeling right so I decided to check my blood pressure. Pulse was 42 and B/P was 136/84--almost high for me--especially lately with my pulse being so low, the pressure is usually low. I know that my eating habits and things play a part in this. My habits are a coping skill that I am long used to doing.

I have also been wondering if pdoc might take away my Adderall because I have lost so much weight. I am still over 100 lbs, but I think that clinically I reached or slightly exceeded the 15% underweight mark.

My job still drives me nuts and my heart problems have caused my performance to go right down the drain. Don't know if I will even have a job much longer, its that bad.

Besides everything else messed up in my life and that I need to do. It never ends.