Quote:
Originally Posted by riotgrrrl
Am glad you feel better over your height! But am interested in your comment about if your boyfriend commented on it, it would still hurt your feelings. I guess this is all about perception, and how we all react differently and have our own idea's. You've obviously got some sore spots, and I am more thick skinned. Neither of us is wrong I guess.
Talking of perception, I did think that he was walking on eggshells, down to this comment on his first post.
Sorry, I disagree with you, Lol!!
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It's ok, not everyone does agree. No big deal.
I would actual pin it down in part to being human, that and the fact that I am a highly sensitive person, not just about me, but my environment and those around me. I don't see it as a flaw, like sore spot implies. It's not like I would be sooo hurt, I said kinda ouch. I don't see the way you are as a flaw either. I understand there are different people, dispositions, and ways of living for a reason. Everyone does indeed have something. I never wanted to have thick skin, it's ok with me.. the way I am. BTW saying "you obviously have some sore spots and I am more thick skinned, doesn't imply that both are ok.. actually it inserts the idea that you are stronger and I am weaker. Just saying.. it comes across that way, in common social perception of those two ideas.
I am not in this relationship, I don't know every detail of how they both behave. I never said she was not accountable for her behaviour or self esteem. If she is accountable for her stuff... then he is also accountable for some of his stuff, which includes feeling like he is walking on egg shells, and how he deals with it in his own head. I don't think it is really a case of right and wrong. I also said she needs to be respectful, and
communicate, if she wants the same back.
Perhaps I should have explained better what I meant about egg shells. I do think it it easy to take one incident, and turn it into eggshells all the time, even if it is not the case. Because it happened once, we might fear it will happen over and over. I am presuming that she made that statement after the fact of this incident, not that she has reacted every time in the past. Possible egg shells of the future, not of the past. Sorry just trying to explain my point of view. Hopefully they can both sort this out, understand each other and themselves better, communicate about this stuff, and not have the need for egg shells anywhere. Her not telling him what is what.. is not fair, I don't understand that one, and obviously is part of the problem.