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Nov 09, 2012, 06:51 PM
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Member Since: Jan 2012
Posts: 356
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thunder Bow
It seems like you are challengeing others to make you feel better about yourself. Are you?
Thus you are determined to feel bad no matter what the responses here are. You can leave this process if you realy want to. It is all up to you and no one else!
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Sorry you have perceived my post in this way, if I am challenging then that is what I didn't mean to be towards others nor did I set out to do that. I was merely getting my emotions and thoughts out the way I do, which is write it down and yer strangely post it on here. I guess I hope that maybe I will have a light bulb moment of something that someone else may write back just clicks or maybe I guess I hope that going about things this way I may then see my writing differently like, oh hang on a minute, which I may not have seen before. Sometimes just writing stuff like this down on paper is no help because it is sort of like for me trying to create a space with the same items in the same room and just getting nowhere because the only thing that would create space is to remove one thing, if you get my metaphoric sense on this. So for me just posting on here removes the emotions for me.
With the determined to feel bad no matter what, well yer you may say that however there is a difference in feeling good because things in life prove that to be right and just fooling yourself to feel good because that is what everyone else required of you, when actually there is no reason or thing in your life which allows for such feelings. It is like if I just pretend or try hard enough someone has to crush me back into pieces by pointing out what a horrible person I am or they have to point out one of the many reason as to why I should not be allowed to feel happiness or just able to live in a sense, however this is not to say my problem is allowing myself to feel something or not, because that is not what I struggle with. My problem is there is nothing about my existence or life which has made me able to feel good or capable or happy, it has all been one big failure and one in which I feel I will never be able to transform from to a point in life where I can make some improvements to work on not being like this as a person.
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