I've not had a LTR since 1998.

Then again, that's chiefly by choice. By the end of that mess, knew there were problems I didn't want to contaminate someone I cared about with, until I got them under control. It's still not there... and other behaviors have since crept in that complicate things further...

Don't force things... but don't withdraw too far either. Both can aggravate BPD.