New T,
When I come to therapy this Wednesday, I need you to be brilliant. I need you to explain to me why I can't contact you in between sessions (I'm not asking this to talk you into it) because I need to viscerally and fully understand that it is not because I'm a nuisance. I guess it is to help me experience things on my own, but saying that is not going to help my emotional part of me that feels abandoned already. I have not chosen this part of me, and while the route that has been chosen for my therapy is an effort to help me, because it is so painful I am going to have a hard time getting around this. I can't explain too well. But intellectually, I get it. Emotionally, nada. I need to trust you, so we have alot of work to do. I don't know how I will be able to trust you, while feeling as if my neediness is not accepted on Thursdays through Tuesdays. It is only allowed out on Wednesday, and I have to keep it chained in my basement on the other six days. I suspect it will rear its ugly head on a non needy day and rise up with ferocious ferocity. It does this, and the rest of me keeps thinking to that part of me, "Who unchained you?" I need you to conjure up some major talk because the only way around this is opening new neural pathways and then helping them grow. Good luck, you are going to need it!