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insideout said:
im so consumed with conspiracy theories that im unable to pursue my education....
i keep thinking that i dont need college. that i will expose all the truth about the whole conspiracy of life. answer the BIG question... you know, "what is the meaning of life".
i have a serious problem.
my mind is my problem and its consuming me.
every day i feel like its the first day of my life.
i feel like its all new to me.
its a strange feeling that everything is unfamiliar.

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In another day and age you'd have been considered a visionary, a seer, or a prophet. why not learn to enjoy your unique gifts? the trick isn't in destroying them. the trick is in learning to integrate them with functional everyday-world stuff that you need to do to survive (like study, get a job, pay your bills, etc.) Really all that requires is discipline and self-training. Practice makes perfect. Allow yourself pockets of time to pursue your visionary quests, and then put your energy toward your studies when you need to. It's like any other "big dream" -- you have to pursue the dream WHILE pursuing the practical as well so you'll have a solid foundation to fall back on. For example, those that want to be artists, musicians, etc. have to put in time on their dream as well as on a more practical pursuit to earn a living in the meantime until their art or music "takes off". So just think of your split desires here in the same way and learn to mesh and integrate these twin poles of your life.