I don't know if I've ever felt self-hate; it sounds so strong. I certainly had zero self-esteem. It came from growing up invisible or seen as failing--never having my self recognized and acknowledged.

From our earliest development, our selves are part of, and later reflected by, our caretakers. If that mirror never showed us anything positive, or later filled us with only negative messages, then we just can't recognize positive naturally--we can't feel it as real.

From a psycho-dynamic perspective, the attachment to a T through the therapy process can "re-parent" us to repair the faulty messages or address the deficit.

I found this approach worked for me when all the behavioral affirmation stuff just didn't--it always felt like simply applying a band-aid over an ugly infection.