Had my earlier experiences with therapist not been so bad, I might not be as resistant to therapy. Sometimes I wish I had started with a good one before the four I did see messed up my trust.

Going to a therapist is like putting something on the internet. Once its out there, you can never take it back. Here I'm a faceless person and don't have to worry about that.

keepfighting, I'm not sure what EMDR is, though by the sound of it, I'm guess its electro shock therapy of some sort. I have a peripheral nerve stimulator in place for chronic migraines, and any sort of electrical or magnetic therapies are a no no. (I can't go through metal detectors either. The battery will short out).

I'm not ready to pack it in, and I don't believe in suicide because it causes more pain than it cures. What kills me is that back when this could have been dealt with, there were people who knew there was a problem, and said nothing. In high school I was in big trouble, suicidal, lost almost thirty pounds, grades dropped etc. A few years ago, I went back to the school for transcripts and spoke to my old guidance counsellor. She told me that they all knew there was a problem but didn't know what it was. All my teachers and counsellors knew and never even asked. I know that part of it is up to the person suffering, but it blew my mind that they all knew. It was the counsellors job to spot problems. Sometimes kids can't come forward. All it would have taken at that point would have been for someone to ask. They even had a crisis center at school, and they knew as well. It makes me wonder how many kids are struggling, unable to come forward and just ignored.

Sam