i like the idea of a semi outsider explainig the situation to the kids because it tends to be less biased. Being honset is crucial, but there is a reason why kids need to believe in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. Don't expect a 5 year old to have the emotional immaturity to understand the truth of divorce. This will force you to be creative in explainig to him the how and why. I don't know the answer of how to do it. I know that he won't belive that his father still loves him if his father doesn't show it, there's nothing you can do about that. You can say it all you want but children are born with a ******** detector and he will need to hear it from hes own father. If that is impossible at the time he will need to find a new father figure to reassure him that he is loved and wanted. This doesn't have to be someone who has a relationship with his mother, it can be anyone, an uncle, a priest a family friend etc. In time as he gets more mature he will be able to understand it better, but sadly by then the damage will be done. This is the problem with divorce... children don't understand it and because childern are the centre of their own worlds they take everything personally.

I don't really know of any helpful books addressing that specific topic, but James Dobson has written quite a few books on raising boys and family matters and he is an excellent writer.

I hope you can find a way to relate to him and help him... even if you don't have the answers, you sound like someone who are wise enough to think of something!

Tanya