Yes Open Eyes I am tired and I feel like I will always struggle like this. I don't like the word "heal" in fact I won't say it. It must have something to do with I don't feel like I can. I am trying to slow down. I do feel I have made some progress in slowing down something my t and I have been working on. I enjoy it actually when I can let myself take some time. Will try to do that this weekend a bit. Too hard for me to think of going back to work Tuesday and facing all the stress.

I appreciate hearing you say some of this stuff. I don't hear it often. It's scary in some ways to think of support because I automatically think of when it's going to end. Kind of like the bird being thrown out of the nest. The alone feeling is the most troubling and support doesn't feel real when it's there, feels like it's just going to be pulled out right from under you. I don't want to be scared though, it's my instinct to believe I'm alone. I suppose if I want to change then I can. I want to be open and willing and teachable.
Thanks Open Eyes.