i'm actually proud of you.

firstly for not acting on your thoughts (that's very good), and secondly for noticing you are depressed and how you are feeling.

did anything start this depression?. a mixture of things?. or nothing..

as for talking to someone, yes i know it's difficult- depression and mental illness caries such a stigma with it

only you can really decide that.. thoug from what you said about not knowing how many days you can cope on your own, it might be a good idea- is their someone you can talk to who might be easier?

before (and if) you choose to go to a therapist, is their someone who you can trust to tell this too?

family?. friends..?