I've been feeling depressed for a long time. I feel like I can't feel happy and if I ever do, it's like I feel guilty for feeling that way, it's a weird feeling. I feel guilty for feeling so sad. I know it's wrong. It's not like I have anything in my life to feel this sad about, but I still so. It's really embarrassing so I don't tell anyone. Somedays are worse than others. But, this past week, I've cried every single day.

I don't know what to do or what I even want. Lately, I either feel sad, tired (I usually wake up really early in the morning), or I feel nothing at all. I have thoughts about hurting myself. Usually it's when I feel angry or stressed. Whenever I feel that way, I cry because I don't know what else to do. I know that's weird. I really hate feeling anger and stress and I think that if I killed myself, those feelings would go away and I would feel relief. I get those thoughts a lot, but I have never acted on them yet this time. The thoughts seem like they are really overwhelming sometimes. Like they are all I can think about, but I know I would regret it if I did something, so I just try and ignore them until it goes away. It's kind of scary.

I just feel really lost and I feel like no one ever really pays attention to me. Depression really sucks but I feel really embarrassed about it, so I haven't told anyone. Its getting harder and harder every day, I'm afraid that it's getting worse. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to deal with it myself. I probably haven't been dealing with it that well since I cry all the time, but I'm not really sure if I want to see a therapist. It's really hard to me to be noticed by anyone. At this point, I don't think anyone really cares that much about me. I'm all alone.