I don't understand why you posted this in the PTSD forum because you do not have that as a diagnosis in your "about me" profile.

It sounds like you have become "aware" that you can be agressive and even abusive, that is a start, because you have to be "aware" you have a problem before you can work on getting to the bottom of it and "finally fixing it".

I seriously "doubt" the guest speaker "knew" you have issues, however, he was right, it was very possible that there could be a "problem person" in that classroom because that is how "common" this issue can be. The fact that you felt he was "outing you" and that you felt threatened or guilty means there is a good chance you can get help with this problem and that you can work on it and yes, it probably has something to do with the abuse you suffered as a child and your inablity to "trust" and that you harbor "anger" that needs to be discussed and worked through.

My advice is to seek help so you can get past this and actually have a more "productive" life.

Open Eyes