Firstly, many of us don't like being called 'Borderline' or other people using the term 'Borderline' as we are not defined by our disorder, it is only a small part of us.
Secondly, I don't think it's Bipolar as the above person said, it could be BPD, but it does sound more like you have a problem with anxiety.
You need to see what symptoms you tick, more than anything.
BPD doesn't start early, it starts around when you're 15+. It can be earlier, but it's not usually any time before about 11 years old.
Do you...?
- you have emotions that are up and down (for example, feeling confident one day and feeling despair another), with feelings of emptiness and often anger
- you find it difficult to make and maintain relationships
- you have an unstable sense of identity, such as thinking differently about yourself depending on who you are with
- you take risks or do things without thinking about the consequences
- you harm yourself or think about harming yourself (for example, cutting yourself or overdosing)
- you fear being abandoned or rejected or being alone
- you sometimes believe in things that are not real or true (called delusions) or see or hear things that are not really there (called hallucinations).
The DSM for BPD requires -
A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
2. a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
3. identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
4. impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).
Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
5. recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
6. affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
7. chronic feelings of emptiness
8. inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
9. transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms