The **** you need to container on any given day, in session I mean, is only the stuff that you talk about that day. I don't leave my entire history in the AC unit on his roof; I only leave the piece that I talked about today, the bit about my perpetrator also coming to my room. And the idea is that you box it up until you're ready to deal with the next time, so it doesn't dog you throughout your week. So I'm not sure you need as big of a space as you think. And the idea is that when you take it out of the box the next time to deal with it, you might not need to put it away/container it at all. Usually mine just kind of becomes part of the universe-- in the vast space of the universe, my *** is really small and pretty innocuous.

This time, I didn't leave it in the AC unit outside. For some reason that wasn't working for me. I asked him for help again in putting it away (yes I noticed I asked for help twice in the same session, i'm surprised his head didn't explode). He pointed to a file drawer. I asked him to open it. Then I asked him to sit back down. This was starting to get fun, like a game of Simon Says, T style. Then I asked him if I could intimidate it into the file drawer. He said, you could do what you want, you might try inviting it in and asking it to leave you alone until next week. It's just my little bit about my perpetrator coming to my room, at night. It hops nicely in the drawer. I ask T to close the drawer. He sits down before I can ask him to sit. I feel like I can breathe again, the full kind of breath that swirls in the belly and lightens my spirit.

Just little bits at a time, MKAC. Like a spoonful of an experience, not a bulldozer's shovel full. Bit by bit, you can box it up and leave it with T. Or leave it under the roof or outside the window so it's not "with" him, but not with you. Sometimes it finds its own way into the universe and you don't need to take it out again.

Thank you for sharing with me. It really helps to feel that this kind of stuff connects with people, in some way.