*hugs* I am sorry that you are having such a hard time and I only hope that things will get better for you soon. The only way you can start letting people in is if you put yourself out there and try harder. I know that it may seem impossible to do but there is a way that you can work yourself up to really opening up to others. You just need to start off small and go at a slow pace to where you can handle it and work your way up. Just sharing simple things like I feel sad today will help you even if it may not feel like it at first. Just keep trying and we are here for you. *hugs*