I may have had expectations that I should not have had.

My uncle was supposed to sit down with Bruce and me last Monday when he came down to see us and all we did was just fart around at dinner and goof off.

He said he was too busy to "book us in" to talk before he went back up to Seattle.

I reminded him, in the car, on our way back home, as he was just going to drop us off and not visit (too busy, too tired he said) And I was hoping he would visit us for at least a little while and discuss our crisis.

For, I had asked him by email, (a month ago) to talk to Bruce and me about our living situation and even my concerns about who was going to help me when Bruce was no longer around. (I am disabled and need him to help me with some things)

In reply to the email, he had promised me that he would "discuss things during his visit".

So I waited til he came Monday, but we never "discussed things". All we did, like I said, was just have dinner and make small talk.

When I reminded him, on our way home, he was evasive; "Oh, we'll be in touch. I'll make some calls." I guess his idea of "discussing things" is not like mine.

I had been hoping he would sit down and talk to us at home and was disappointed when he just dropped us off. I understood about him being tired, but had to at least say to him, keeping my voice level, "I really needed to discuss our crisis, Uncle _________ because in a few more months we'll be on the street if we don't have a plan. I thought we were going to talk about it now. I am sorry you are too tired and that I had to put you out." I felt really awkward, but knew that I had to see if he would keep his promise to help us deal with our crisis.

He did the same thing last spring. Promised a heart to heart and a plan and all he did was discuss our "budget". Then left us.

He left me hanging again. Monday.

Bruce told me that when he died, my uncle would help me; he'd "drive down here and take you to Seattle, Carol..."

I asked him if he ever heard my uncle say that; did he ever ask my uncle that. He said, "I didn't ask him." I told him, "if this is true, I need to know from him. Please don't dream up something and then die and me have to see if he will come thru on a dream of yours, Bruce. How do you know he will come down, drop everything just for me? He's so busy!"

The point: I still need to figure out things on my own; Bruce is going to croak and I will be alone! My uncle will not even talk to us about what's going on; he evades it.

My uncle is too gd busy to even "discuss things".

So was my aunt, before she died, and i ended up being turned over to her friend, who hates me. Who doesn't want to have anything to do with me; my aunt had left her money to take care of me and she won't. Last year, I'd had to drag it out of her to pay my dental bills---thousands of dollars. And she told us that it was all gone; I'd used it all up.

I really wish ppl were more reliable and approachable.

I told him (my uncle) over and over again about our situation, he had told us we would talk about it and he never did. It's not like I nagged him, but from time to time did tell him h ow scared I was of being on the street. Maybe once in a while and when he would call us. I would tell him, too, "I am sorry to put this on you, but Bruce is so sick and depressed all the time, neither one of us has any friends and I am afraid every day I am going to wake up and find a dead body in the living room."

He's supportive but says, "We'll discuss it at our next visit." And no discussion.

Although we always have fun visits and he's always supportive and warm, he always says "we will discuss things" and then doesn't.

I think he set a boundary with me Monday by dropping me off, and, again saying, "Later..." (we'll be in touch) He set a boundary in half way manner. I understand now. The answer is no. And Bruce has this grandiose idea that he will come thru when I am pretty sure he won't.

I did want that talk.

If he can't even follow thru with a family crisis meeting, I can't believe he'll follow thru with an "emergency plan" that Bruce *fantasized* about or dreamed up, about him coming down to pick me up!

I undestand if someone does not want to help or even address a situation, but I really dislike it when they are evasive or elusive about it!

My relationship with him is much better than it used to be, but I have to accept it now as it is. I am not going to ruin what we have now by continueing to nag him.

He won't help. But he won't even tell me.

I have to accept that too and just stop b***hing to him about it.

But I am disappointed in him.

Carol