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Old Nov 11, 2012, 12:17 AM
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BrokenNBeautiful BrokenNBeautiful is offline
Mental Wellness Mensch
 
Member Since: Apr 2009
Location: I live with myself. Because that is all I can depend on. Everthing around me changes.
Posts: 3,439
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetsurrender View Post
My husband and I have an upcoming appointment with my therapist for a session together. We fought tonight about it because he said that he doesn't get anything out of it, its for me and that we won't get better until I get better. Do you all think that is true? We have communication issues and when he asked about how my therapy went I told him we talked about the need for me and him to communicate more and after I tell him that and try to open up to him, he hit me with the "we won't get better until you get better" thing. I have been really trying, but it is so hard. No matter how hard I try I always screw up.
Am I the issue in all of my problems?
In my experience, mental illnesses, addictions, bpd, etc. do affect both parties. A marriage has to take 2, not just the one. And sometimes one of us is also bpd or has another issue that might affect the other person.

It's not just about us; my husband was not willing to work on it either; he just got angry and we got a divorce. He told me, too, that I was the messed up one.

He was also very unstable.

I believe that counseling can help both ppl.

I don't think it will get better unless both ppl work on it.

Just my own thoughts. take them or leave them' it's okay.

Carol
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness!
Thanks for this!
shezbut