I'm so sick of this.. this whatever it is. BPD or whatever you want to call it. I just got through posting things on the positive side of how I'm feeling better, coming to terms with being alone and everything and for the most part its probably true. But then it all comes crashing down and I realize I've been fooled into thinking that at any point I could actually be free from this roller coaster at all.

I won't go into details about why or what is going on that has triggered things tonight. Details really aren't important are they? I mean it happens and it could be a number of things triggering this but in the end the feelings are the same. The overwhelming emotional reaction to something. And then it all comes in like the floodgates have been opened. Fear, anger, sadness, loneliness... all at once.

Sorry this is just a friggin ramble but I had to say something.

FML. I'm sick of it.