I'm trying, day by day and I'm still sad, but I am here. As for the girl I think I love, I just don't know. I was checking my email for a job I applied to and didn't get. (I failed again) and she instant messaged me. That was cheerful, since she took the time to figure out my name and contact me, but I don't know if I am getting the wrong signs. When she leaves for a few minutes and sets the auto response message she ends the message with the words "love you" I just have to assume 100% that she does that for her boyfriend and not me. But it sure, appears like it is directed toward me, since she was just talking to me. In any case, those words have a strong impact on someone like me, who feels this way. I thought about asking her about it, but I don't want the disappointment of knowing the truth. I have never had a girlfriend or a girl friend, so I have no idea what is going on here or how women think. It is just so painful! When I try to forget about her, she suddenly appears. Why am I tortured by this and everything else? Why?