Quote:
Originally Posted by Chopin99
Dear T,
A part of me worries about my session coming up Wednesday. This Thursday you told me you couldn't watch Criminal Minds anymore because so many episodes focused on chid abuse. You also no longer work with children. You say you don't like working with children and dealing with their anger, but I suspect it has to do with abuse also. You've made the comment that you would like to "execute your own method of judgment" on child abusers, even though you said you recognize you cannot play God and pass judgment because it's not your place.
So what are you going to do when I tell you 13 years ago I became angry with two four-year-old bullies, whom, in two separate incidents, jerked them up off the ground by their wrists and dug my nails into their skin hard enough to leave marks? Are you going to hate and judge me? Are you going to see me as a child abuser, even though I have not done anything like that since?
Will you still love me? Or will you turn your face away like so many people in my past?
Love,
Chopin
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As a parent, and stepparent, I would certainly forgive you. What I know of you from the forum, you are certainly Not the same person you were that many years ago. The regret that you voice today, and have felt for along time I'm sure - it took you to the place of feeling shame - sound like it is a heart felt regret.
As a parent, I know I would have been angry when it happened, and I also know, if I read what you write now, I could do nothing less than forgive you. You are human. You don't make light of what happened, and you are genuinely regretful. I as a collective parent forgives you. Please forgive yourself Chopin. You need suffer no more, because of this past issue.
Your therapist sounds like a caring and understanding women. I know she has nothing but love in her heart for you. I'm not a betting woman, but given what you right about her - she will have nothing but open arms and a heart full of forgiveness for you.
Thinking of you as you journey down the road of shame. You are a brave women.