Quote:
Originally Posted by shinkikker
So about 2 weeks ago, 2 nights before I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation, I was feeling suicidal and tried to reach out to an old friend for help. I told her that I really needed someone to talk to and she said she could come over after work, but that she couldn't be here until 3 AM. I told her that she didn't have to come over and she replied, word for word, "I know I don't have to come over, you idiot".
This is something that has really bothered me. She knew my history of depression and suicidal thoughts, and while I can look back now and know that she was probably just trying to lighten the mood and joke around, it still seems terribly inappropriate to tell a friend that when they are obviously distraught. So tonight I messaged her because I hadn't mentioned that it really hurt my feelings. I was really nice about it and told her that I think now that she was joking but I was very suicidal that night and it only made me more depressed. She replied to me and sort of turned it around on me, saying that she feels like she is walking on eggshells whenever she talks to me and it hurts her feelings that I would ever think she was trying to be mean instead of thinking she was joking around.
I am genuinely not sure how to take this. She has never really been a great friend to me, honestly. Part of me wants to make the effort to work this out, but another part of me thinks I deserve much better and should just cut all ties because of the way she treated me (and has always treated me). I don't know?
What do you guys think? Any insight? Any experience with people like this? If I have to try to continue a friendship, is it even worth it?
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Do you think maybe she felt like the idiot after you mentioned how it made you feel? She could be embarrased and just not know how to deal with it. If you don't feel she is that good of a friend at this point in your relationship then maybe you could just try to see it from her point of view...if you are not that close, then maybe she didn't really understand where you were at mentally because she doesn't know you in the way a close friend would know you. Maybe she feels that she really put herself out there to be there for you and because you didn't get exactly what you needed from her, that maybe she felt a little frustrated from all the confusion of where each of you are at in the relationship and in your own separate personal lives.
I don't know if that made any sense or not...but maybe you just need to get to know each other better before making judgement calls on each others attempts to be there for each other...in other words, give each other some space and give each other some wiggle room to be individuals while you are getting to know each other. Just a thought...hope it all works out for you
