Hippomania, I understand how you feel. I was married to a man for 12 yrs that I couldn't make him happy no matter what I did. He also accused me of having said and done things that I know I didn't. I came out of that relationship thinking I was crazy and totally worthless.

For a while, it seems important to find out who was wrong and why. I'm convinced that the man I was married to is schitzophrenic and what he thought he heard me say, were really the voices in his head. Of course, there's a lot more to the story including the fact that our daughter inherited his mental illness. She hasn't spoken to me in about 7 years.

Yes, you definitely have a long road of healing ahead. Some of it will be spent trying to figure this man out and trying to figure out why you spent so much time and effort on him. Ultimately, you will have to let go of his "whys" and concentrate on you; being good to yourself, giving yourself everything you missed while you were with him, re-establishing your own self-esteem and sense of self-worth and possibly dealing with your own issues that existed before you joined him. It can be done. I'm here to prove it, although, like you said, it's been a long road.

You've come to a very good place to receive support, caring and understanding. Welcome to our family.






<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>