Know the feeling (((((((Kimmy)))))))))) in one foster home my child was threatened by and older child that he was going to kill him with a knife, My child was raised to not keep secrets and to get away and tell when he senses anything uncomfortable so he told the older child what he had to that would get him out of the room and then he used used the phone and called the DHS the intake caseworker and told her he needed to see her or the caseworker in charge of his side of the case. one of the caseworkers picked him up on the excuse if I remember right of taking him out for ice cream and to talk about the case. Once he was safely out of the house he told what was happening. All the foster children in that house were removed that night and interviewed and then all were returned back into that foster home except the one making threats.

I was told about the situation right before a visitation session in case my son mentioned it during our visit.

I told the caseworker I didn't care if it was a 13 year old threatening a seven year old bottom line it should not have happened at all. That child had been threatening not only my child so those foster parents were aware it was happening and did not up the supervision on that threatening child. I wanted my child out of there that night and I was not going to leave the agency building until my child had a new foster home. he was not going back there even if I had to contact the police and get them involved.

the end result is my child was put into a new foster home that was over crowded temporarily while they found him a new placement. They were so crowded that they had children sleeping on the floor in sleeping bags for lack of beds but my child had a great time "camping out" on the couch and floor and then recieved one of the best foster homes where he was the only foster child and they had two children - a baby and a 14 yr old girl. he had his own room and very well supervised. Any problems my child brought to me or any DHS workers were addressed most of the time right away.

One thing that still irritates me though is that some how he came in contact with a man that a month or so before my son came home was arrested for child sex abuse and my sons name was on the list of this mans contacts with children. and no the perp was not a foster parent just someone in the community. The guy went to jail but I was never kept up to date by anyone as to if he got to my child or not and so on. I was just told by my lawyer at that time and the DHS caseworker at that time not to discuss it with my child in case he has to testify against the guy. to just let my childs therapists deal with it. I try not to let my mind go into how did he get in contact and so on and just remind myself that even if my child was home theres a statistics of 1 in 4 boys get sexually assaulted.

My child since being removed to go through residential treatment has told so many things against his group homes and foster parents to me durng what few visits that we have had and some have been prooven his lying and others I don't know if they were ever investigated. At that time I had that caseworker that ended up getting fired and all she would tell me is that thins time because of the circumstances and the way residential treatment and so on he was not going to like foster care and he would be telling me all kinds of horror stories and I was not to discuss his foster homes friends or schools with him, I was to change the subject and let her deal with his lies and so on. It was like she even before he made a complaint knew he was gonig to make up things. Turns out she was the liar in more ways then one so I now wonder how much of my child telling me his foster parents took his jackets and wouldn't let him wear the good winter jackets that I bought him, he told me a group home foster mom put her hands around his throat. DHS caseworker says no she says she grabbed the back of his shirt to move him out of the way, his claims that his chistmas and birthday and other toys and games I gave him being taken away at the door of a foster home and he had to "earn" them proved to be true.

I've gotten to the point where I can't allow myself to think about the foster homes and group homes they place him in, in between residential treatment centers. Instead all I can do is live in my daydreams of what we did together. Otherwise I would go completely insane.and each time I find out where he is I don't go near him because his seeing me would do too much harm emotionally to him knowing he can't come home but I do check out as much as I can. I found a picture of my child on line with one of his school classes and that was so cool seeing that smile and hamming it up for the camera. I couldn't find any thing out about that foster home but I was very impressed with the school they had him in. He's in residential treatment right now thankfully. he only lasted a month or two and ended up back in. Where he is right now is a facility that also has an animal farm on site and the facilities school is just a block or two down the street. But he won't be there long. Facilities here have time limits so they are stabilizing and then it will be time to move him to the next part of the program complete with another facility.

given the two evels a mental health unit for children or the foster care program I am much more comfortable knowing my child is in the facility especially given his behavior and mental health problems. Foster homes can only do so much and here they don't have enough to give the right kind of care and so on to children that need alot of physical health care, individual supervision and on top on that mental disordered. They are over crowded and unfortunately even with the best security theres going to be those jerks that should mot have been allowed a foster parenting license. just recently I recieved a letter from DHS saying the investigation of my child being abused while in DHS care has been determined "unfounded" but I was never notified as to there was an allegation to begin with. Somebody is going ot be giving me some answers next week at my court hearing.