Hey OpenEyes, omygod, that must have looked pretty paranoid, I´m sorry
Yes, right. I put that up a while a go before I really got started with therapy. So I think I just read about it and thought some things actually fit well.

Yes, hankster, I´ve learned too that to get out of that trap, I need to stop explaining myself stop "needing" approval from her and trying to changer her mind.

This is really hard for me, because, what she said back then, hurt my innerst feelings and beliefs about myself SO much.

I noticed how incredibly much my perception of myself and what I "wanted" has changed. I was driven and hardworking before,but I was not a perfectionist in that way.
I compared myself with my individual past successes, not in the eyes of perfection.