hi echoes. yes, i told her in the email that we had two options: to do the SCA or to cut back until i figure something else out. when she didn't say anything in response to my talking about the SCA in person, that's when i tried to figure out what she was thinking about it. that's when i said something like, "i know you don't want to the SCA.." to see if she'd confirm or deny. she confirmed, unfortunately. she knows it's an option, she just doesn't want to do it. and i have no idea why.

part of me is wondering if we did the SCA longer than she wanted to in the first place. maybe she's been wanting to stop all this time, and i never knew. the odd thing is that had i not decided to switch to out-of-network, we'd still be doing the SCA! the whole thing is so frustrating. and very upsetting.

it makes me want to quit altogether.