Hello mssumom. I used to think that it was normal to feel out of place, unwanted and sad. (I also know what it feels like to not trust my judgement in men (my ex still calls constantly)). All you need is a little help in the right direction because from you own words, you hit a 'brick wall'. We all do from time to time. Go see a counsellor or theapist and get tested for depression. If your seritonin is low (could be hereditary or from being depressed for more years that you realize), then get some medical help and see if that clears things up inside of you. It wouldn't hurt to continue to see a therapist for atleast a few sessions to talk things out in a safe environment. If you have never been, it is you that is doing the talking and discovering, and not the therapist who is telling you what to do. It is very self empowering. Your life is changing and you just need some TLC, good friends and a little help.