I feel this way sometimes, often enough. It is part of the BPD, the mood changes that can happen from one minute to the next...It definitely feels as if the positive is overshadowed by the negative, but it's not true...we do have those positive moments...we do get them, even if it's just for a minute.

I think relief is possible (DBT offers some solutions) and I can only hope that my positive moods will last longer each time, this isn't always the case...I will feel like I'm 'getting there' and then one thing will happen and it will feel as if it's all crashing down...but it's not, it's a perception. The reality is is that we were feeling good, and then we weren't...we will feel good again and bad again, good and bad...on and on. Our feelings aren't static , they're fluid.

I think a lot of our problems come from judging our feelings, it's hard to just stay on for the ride, but it seems to bring me some sense of relief and empowerment..I try to accept the bad feelings along with the good. To deny them is to invalidate them and deny what we are: humans with real beating hearts and real pain. It's okay to feel bad, it's okay to vent about it too (so no need to apologize here )

I definitely relate to what you're saying and experience it too. Lately I've found some relief and consolation in getting on that roller coaster with no judgement and no expectation and going for the ride.

Much love.