((((unhappyguy))),

Well, you are really not alone in feeling that way tbh.

I used to be "so shy" and wondered about "fitting in" too. And the times I would speak up were when I saw someone else being "picked on and disrespected". I have realized now "why" and that is because I "knew their pain" very well, I was the youngest of three and was "always" overpowered, and in bad ways too.

I still tend to stand up for those that are "unfairly treated or bullied" or "neglected", and often I stand alone too. I think I am at a point where I am so much older that I just don't "care" anymore and realize that there are alot of "cruel" and selfish people in the world who just "jump on anyone that is different or has a different opinion as well".

The true secret unhappyguy is that you have to find your way to "self care and respect" and when you do that, people can "sense it" and they often even "respect" it too. There are always going to be those that look for anyone they can "belittle" simply because they "need" to put others down due to their "lack" and to try to "self empower" the cheap way.

Unfortunately it is "very primitive" and in all mammels to find one that is "the low one on the totem pole that they can pick on". We call it the "pecking order" but it is always "there".

My "nicest" and best pony was the one that was "low man on the totem pole" and I actually look for that in a herd of horses or ponies because that is the one that will be good with "children" and also be "extremely loyal". Ofcourse I kept all my ponies and horses "separate" so that none of them would be stressed out by the others picking on them.

So a "quality" person is not always the one that has the biggest braun or voice, I tend to look for that as well.

So, don't let yourself down because this happens to you, it really doesn't mean you have no "value" as a person.

((((Hugs))))
Open Eyes