I definitely feel that counselling will help on both sides of the street. If your problem is communication it can help you communicate and validate one another. A counsellor can act as a mediator and can help the relationship , especially if you have things you don't want to talk about 'alone' considering it could be the perfect setup for misunderstanding. Also, a third objective party can help your partner understand that indeed you suffer from mental illness and you're willing to work toward change and growth.

In my experience, it is the BPD that causes most of the problems in my relationship, it creates walls in communication, misunderstanding, distorted perceptions, imagined fears, attachment issues etc. I would recommend that you also go to individual counselling or join a DBT group to work on yourself as well. Don't go blaming the relationship or your partner for problems, but also don't go blaming yourself...you are NOT your disorder...it could be the disorder causing problems, but that doesn't define YOU. Be gentle and patient with yourself and your partner.

ALso, DBT offers skills to teach us how to communicate and work with others more effectively (read about interpersonal effectiveness --one of the four key modules in DBT).

www.dbtselfhelp.com

Best wishes to you and your relationship.