Hi all first post and my thoughts are so muddled and tangled i will pre-apologize.

I was diagnosed Bipolar 1 a few years ago and its not really that much of a suprise really. When i looked back at my behaviours over the years it CRUSHED me to adnit that they were probably right.

Anyway, the reason i am here is because i feel like i am just going to "lose it" these days. I am embroiled in a BITTER divorce, just moved, started a new job that is RIDICULOUSLY stressful.

On Friday of this week i was on my way home from work and i was mugged. 6 guys threw me down some stairs into the basement of a building and beat and robbed me. They stole my wallet, watch ,phone some money and get this ....my glasses for godsake.

Besides the physical pain of which i have PLENTY...i am freaked out and scared even NOW in my home. My boss at my new job is also my best friend of the last 25 years. He is one of those VERY driven and successful types. Today he asked me how i was feeling and i just told him the tinyest bit of how i am. I am a bit shaken and very nervous still. "Yeah gotta nip that in the bud " he said. He then invited me to his house for dinner at 7pm. He lives a block away from where i was beaten and robbed. I feel like i am being asked to return to "normalcy" after less than 2 days after being threatened with knives etc. It really made me feel much worse.

I dont know even what i am trying to acomplish here...i just had to tell SOMEBODY.

Thanks for listening