Hello Daniel, I could help you with your situation but I 'm not going to, because first of all I don't have the psychiatric credentiuals one would need, second of all you would think I was being cruel with my remarks, and
third and most important, a response that works for one person may be a deathtrament to another. In any case I can tell you for certain to coin the old phrase " I've been there and done that " and like you I had every thing to loose, but I wised up before it was to late, and with hard work and and alot of evaluation of your inner self and yes,
professional counselling you may make it, and I'm not going to say you will make it, cause every body has a different nature, a thing that governs one in there quest
to risk every thing to obtain what they might think they want untill they get it and then don't want it any more or even worst, it doesn't want them . . .
good luck . . .