OMFW! How terrible! And like DM said, its ok to not be ok for now, you've been thru hell, are going thru some other hells as well! Nip it in the bud is useless and insensitive! So glad you came here, emotional purging is very therapeutic. I agree that you should get a doctor's note to take few days off. Just to recuperate and let your mind know it doesnt have to be in 'armed' mode all the time... Oh and a warm we're glad to have you!