About a year and a half ago, I lost a friend that was more like a brother, to drugs. He was smart, compassionate, talented, and I believe he had a good soul.

"Tom" was the son of a dear friend and we are almost family. He struggled with additction for years. He was just out of the hospital for a self injection related infection. It almost took his life. Shortly after release from the hospital, he had trouble regulating his temperature, and as close to death as he had been, may have stlll have been septic.

The morning of his death, he called the house. I heard him leave the message, but I didn't pick up. He died that afternoon after having taken something his ex girlfriend gave him. The girl he was with went to take out the trash to the dumpster, leaving him playing video games. When she returne a few minutes later, she found him on the floor, unconscious with no heartbeat.

I can't help but wonder if I had picked up the phone that morning it things would have worked out differently. Maybe he would still be alive. I don't think it was a suicide. I think he just took a dose that he had before, but this time his system was already physically unstable from his infecton. .

I know that technically, it wouldn't have changed anything anything, but there is still that nagging doubt.

I miss him. Can't see, to get past the fact that I could have picked up the phone that day.

Sam2