I’m not really sure what started it. I guess part of the reason could be maybe that I’m at a point in life when I know I need to grow up, I’m 22. It is a little scary, but I realize I’m not a kid anymore. I don’t have any friends and when I think of the people I know that are exactly my age and how different their lives are from mine. Like they have friends and a cool job and they seem really happy. It makes me feel a little bit jealous, like I don’t understand why they deserve to be happy and I don’t. I feel stuck and I don’t know how to be happy anymore. But, I also think it probably goes deeper than that, because this isn’t the first time I’ve been depressed, I was depressed from age 12-16.

I’ve been to therapy before. I don’t think it’s right for me (bad experiences). At this point, I don’t think anyone is going to be able to help me. I really don’t have anyone to talk to about this. I doubt anyone will be able to understand. I think I may have problems with trust because every time I feel like I want to tell someone, before I do, I always wonder whether or not I can trust them. Then I usually back down because I decide that I’m not sure if they are trustworthy and I don’t want to risk my secret getting out. I guess I always just expect the worst from people. I’m scared to admit this to anyone, so I’ve pretty much been keeping it to myself. But now it’s getting really hard to make sure this stays a secret.