I really don't know where to head, I don't know why I've chosen the A levels that I have, I think maybe it's because it's what people expected, I'm not really sure how to go about posting this, or what will be relevant for me to say or irrelevant so I'll try my best to make sense, I'm sorry if I don't.

To say it bluntly, I guess I really don't care about things anymore, I'm not sure if I really did to start with, and there aren't people in my life, the people that I see around me though are all working towards a passion, and they're brilliant, amazing, I don't have anything like that, nor am I brilliant or amazing in any aspect, I don't mind that I just don't see why I'm following a path if it's all so meaningless and insignificant. Life, really, can be considered so insignificant, when you think about the universe, and nature, and how even though life is equal on any scale, it is practically negligible among the stars and the universe. Some people give their lives a meaning, because life can be precious to humans, even if on a more generic scale it is worth nothing - and I really don't want this to sound like I think everybody is insignificant, because I don't, people give themselves significance, but I really don't care to give myself anything significant, there is nothing to give or work towards.

Sorry I guess I'm tired maybe? I don't even fit in enough to have a friend, so I just read and become part of that world, but now it's scary because I can't trust what's real, because maybe it's not real, and everyone, sometimes I worry about what they're thinking, if maybe they know what I'm thinking, things are so apathetic though so maybe they can't, what do I do? It's clear that this all seems so illogical and silly, especially since I'll never be able to say enough to get my point across and have somebody understand, because really we are all so different that we will never truly understand anybody fully, not even if we are all happy, it will be so different between people, I'm not sure what I'm writing about anymore so I'm going to stop here