I am considering taking a 2nd pill...

I'm at work. I can't miss because I have no time off, but being home wouldn't help today. I'm recovering just fine after the surgery, doesn't even feel like I had it actually. I am just facing something that really, really scares me. And I keep telling me that this time will be different. Things are different now than they were last year. I keep telling me that, but I'm not really believing it.... I think its a response to the trauma.... So until it's over, I just want to be flat. Last night I tried to drink to make it stop. But alcohol seems to enhance my feelings, not mute them. I guess that whole "drown your sorrows" thing doesn't work for everyone. (Yes, maybe it was a dumb idea, but I was just trying to make it stop.)