Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions
One thing I wanted to mention, briefly - as I'm exhausted and need to get to bed - is the idea of being needy. This struck a cord with me, as I never ever ever want to be seen as needy....and never really have been. I've been incredibly independent my entire life...needy = weak.
My T is trying to help me see that it's normal and necessary to have needs....and that there's a difference between being needy and being needful. Being direct and assertive about our needs demonstrates being needful....trying to deny ourselves of our needs tends to manifest into neediness, sometimes even without our conscious knowledge.
I have not yet made any progress with this information....but it's something I will be working on at some point soon.
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I get this. American (and I'm sure other cultures as well) culture values "independence" and "self-reliance". The truth is, we crave connection (not just in a tactile sense) with other people. I believe we are biologically wired for this (although my H and others would disagree). In infants/children, we
rely on others for survival. I don't think this need disappears as adults, but our experiences in childhood as well as adulthood can harm our ability to connect with others. Connection, I'm certain, was vital in our evolutionary past, and I'm not so sure we "outgrew" this as society developed into its present state.