I need to vent this and get it out of my head. Sorry this is a bit long. Suggestions are welcome.

I don't like going to the doctor, but I go for the female exam once a year. I had been seeing the same person for about 10 years and suddenly...she quit. No notification until I made an appointment. To avoid the whole transferring records thing, I opted for an appointment with the nurse practioner at this clinic (all the remaining docs are men and I wanted a woman for this). I was nervous about having to see someone new. What happened at the exam did not help at all.

So when I got there, in came someone completely different - the STUDENT nurse practioner. I was nervous and assumed she would do some of the preliminary stuff but that the real NP would be in to do the majority of the exam. I was so nervous it never occured to me that I had the right to ask for the regular NP to do the exam. The NP finally came in at the very end for the final "internal" stuff. But the student still did the actual examination. Well apparently I have a tilted uterus and the student did a poor job and had to try three times to get the most delicate portion of the exam correct. The first time was downright painful and I told her so. I have never had pain with this exam before.

She also found a hard area in one breast and they wanted an ultrasound. I told them I probably couldn't afford that. I have horrible insurance. Apparently it wasn't too concerning because they agreed to a watch and see approach.

It wasn't until I got to work and talked to the women in my office I realized what really happened. One of them asked "Did they ask if it was okay to have a student do the exam?" I don't think they ever did. She just kind of went ahead and did it. Now I am questioning the quality of the exam. I paid to see the NP - not a trainee. She did catch the breast thing, but she is still just a student. I only go once a year and this was the first time seeing this person. I am really disappointed.

Should I complain to the clinic? Write a letter? I don't even know who I should talk to there. They are a small clinic that is part of a pratice wtih multiple offices and affiliated with a big hospital system.

I just feel emotionally paralyzed right now - clamped up with fear, sadness, and anger.