i don't know why but i've been going through this cycle recently of being happy, but not manic, in the mornings, a little more hyper around 3-5 and then my mood just drops and by night (like now when i'm writing this) i just get so depressed! i want to hurt myself and feel pain to make it go away too. It helps for a little but then yo get the other things that go with that too and i'm so sick of it . i'm taking meds but nothings changing yet. they are raising the dose but still it's not as good as i expected. i'm scared to change the meds cause everytime i did it was a bad experience. i'm scared i might get really depressed and do sumthing that i can't take back. course when i'm feeling like that my mind only thinks of negative things. then the next morning i'm happy and it's hard to turn my back on what i was feeling the night before. i wonder why i bother and put up with this? then i come to thinking many a negative thing about life in general. so as the subject says, I'm so sick of this! i don't know what to do, I just don't know.