OK, Since early Friday afternoon I've been hallucinating, I've been hearing voices and seeing shadows. The voices I hear are like screeches and screaming. They are directed at me, screaming at me for no reason. Some of the intelligible voices are telling me to jump out a window, something I know is bad. I just feel so helpless. I don't think I'm a danger to anyone or myself but on the other end, what if I am. I really don't want to go back to Saint Vincents. Last time they threatened the state hospital on me. I really don't want to do that. I mean its like a concentration camp when I'm there. I don't really know any other way of explaining it. I'm just scared. I have not been diagnosed schizophrenic, I have had a doctor mention schizoaffective but yet the same doctor diagnosed me with bipolar 1. What am I supposed to do? Do i tell my supports and go back to Auchwitz? or Just keep quiet and hope all goes away.

I'm seeing shadows out of my peripheral vision. I can't really explain it. I live in a very old building and wonder if there are spirits that live in this building. I might be a medium, or a psychic.... I don't know.

Its just so frustrating! i'M doing good for a few weeks, or maybe a month, the the bottom drops out. so damn frustrating.