Hi I am new here and having a big problem.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years now and have a 5 month old son. After a year of us dating he suddenly broke up with me. Our relationship was bad, we were both emotionally/physically abusive & had extreme jealousy. But he was my first love &i was heartbroken. At first he refused to talk to me, I stopped eating, stopped going to school, couldn't even function right.

Then he came back, said he wanted to be with me, we'd have sex &he'd breakup with me again, over & over &over. All while he had another gf that he repeatedly lied to me about. It killed me so bad. Well he finally came back for good & begged for me back. I loved him, so I agreed.

Now Our relationship is so different. We rarely fight &it was never again physical. He's been nothing but amazing since then. 2 years later & we have a fantastic relationship. But it's 2 years later & I'm still crying myself to sleep at night because of what he did in the past. I told him it still kills me & he says he wishes he could take it back. How can I finally let go of this?