I understand your feelings concerning meds. I, too have been stubborn about taking meds and I have suffered the consequences.

Without them I am miserable and I feel like it took alot of courage for me to admit I need them because I had to fight with myself to get to that point ya know?

What did it for me? Besides the pain and misery I was in? I believe it is short term.I believe that once I have gone through the healing process of childhood baggage..
I am on my way to being med-free. Thats what I am in therapy for. thats the root of all my problems... unresolved childhood stuff.

Until then, I am taking the meds so I can have a life of some sort while I work on the other stuff.Its hard and often depressing but I have to keep my eye on the end of that road.

I haven't read your story and i know its bound to be different from mine but I wanted to share my experience with you so you would know there is hope.And I want you to know there is nothing wrong with needing meds.It doesn't make you weak at all.

Good Luck!