I am not sure what exactly your question was... but I hav ADHD as well and may hav overlooked something. The things you mention sound like ADHD to me, but depression can also cause trouble focusing. The need for control could be an anxiety thing. But both depression and anxiety can be comorbid with ADHD. ADHD also is hereditary, so if (i think it was ur sister u said?) has it, then it is quite possible that you may have it to.

I think the best thing to do is to get professionally tested by someone who can diagnose and prescribe medication. Also, there are some tests here on PC. Have you tried taking the AD/HD one?