Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
Well, the truth is that "most" people "learn about themselves" all their lives. And we all reach "plateaus" in our lives as well. Many in their "late teens" and "early 20's" reach a disappointing "plateau" because they thought that all of a sudden they would be "grown up" and "know who they are and what they want to be in life". And "most" that head off to college feel intimidated, nervous, out of sorts and lost and want to run back home and hide.
In fact, when my daughter started college, I went to the orientation and they had "just" the parents sit and listen to a talk, while they kept their Teens busy doing something else. All the parents were told that their teens would "call home" and ask to come home and say "this is too hard" Mom/dad and not for me. They said, "do not let them come home no matter how much they whine and dramatize. Most freshman, struggle and "will" adjust so keep them in College no matter how much they complain.
So, there you go, this "question" and sense of "lost myself" is "normal" from the late teens through most of the 20's.
The truth is that "many" people do not really know "who they are or what they will be" for a long time. Often it is more about just getting into a process of taking the steps and learning and "growing' and getting straight A's doesn't mean "success" either.
The "truth" is that a lot of Teens, late teens, and through the 20's battle with "anxiety" and a sense of feeling "lost", normal, normal, normal.
It is not about "creating a new identity", it is about "growing into one" by getting out and learning and growing and you eventually "grow into an identity" and we all go through changes "all our lives".
Open Eyes
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Thatīs very good advise.
Do you have ideas on how to lower the demands to yourself?
I used to be a high achiever, not a perfectionist. I only became that through my anorexia and have stayed one even after solving my Ed.
I used to be able to work very well and loved it because I didnīt put
set in stone goals before me i "had" to achieve. I just liked the work.
Itīs very weird. I think you develop anorexia to improve your self-confidence, but actually it totally destroys it,
because you develop some wrong picture of yourself on how youīre supposed to be. Any self-acceptance you used to have before goes down the drain because while sick you deny your real self and pretend to be some perfect version, youīre not..
