So, I'm a student now, working desperately to gain entry into grad school. Due to some pretty traumatic family events, I've been battling depression for a little over two years now. During that time, I became totally isolated. I wouldn't leave the apartment for days, I slept and cried and slept and cried and lost contact with several people at school. The ones I was especially close to have all graduated, and my immediate family lives across the country.
Now that I've been seeing a counselor and a psychiatrist for the last year, I am working my butt off to graduate and meet my goals. The only problem is, I have forgotten how to make friends. I am in a program that requires a lot of studio work, and typically in those environments, individuals become incredibly close... like donating a kidney kind of close. But I feel like an outsider. I've tried to put myself out there for months now, but I still feel like a red headed stepchild. No offense to any redheads or stepchildren... I suppose it's a silly phrase.
I'm active in a couple of college clubs, and I don't have any trouble chatting with/laughing with my peers. I put on a pretty good happy mask during the day but it has become exhausting. I'll go home, study, and pray that I'll get a text to see if I have any plans. I can't even remember how I met some of my early college friends apart from being with them in studio. Any suggestions? I can't let this become another source of fuel for my depression to feed off of.