Days of Healing, Days of Joy
This is for yesterday...........................................Nov. 12th
It's too good to leave out.

"The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself".. Mark Twain

We all strive to escape loneliness, especially if that sense of being isolated is more or less constant. Sometimes in response to that fear we become dependent on others; we generate nonstop movement or noise just so we don't have to be alone.

Who are we running from?

There is enormous joy in discovering that when we're alone we have ourselves as company. We come to like ourselves and discover the word "us" is sweet indeed. We're not perfect or necessarily sweeter than anyone else, but we are just fine. We can learn to look forward to our thoughts and not run from them in fear. We can even learn to look gently into the mirror and find our best friend there. The more we come to understand that, the less we fear the quiet. In fact, there will come many times when we consciously seek quiet and aloneness. When we cease being afraid of ourselves, we find freedom from most of the fears of life.
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I am growing more able to find peace and enjoyment in my own company.

It's true, when I was drinking I thrived on others, on noise, on activity. I hated being alone -- I feared it because then I had to face what was in my head -- the thoughts, memories, fears. I couldn't wait until my "then" husband and I went out among others. I couldn't wait to get around activity & noise so it would drown out the thoughts & fears that were terrorizing me. Being alone was horrible.

Once I got sober and had some time under my belt I discovered that being "me" wasn't so terrible. I had dealt with my fears & memories and they didn't have the power they once had. Being alone today can be a "boost" in serenity. Some days can be almost overwhelming and we need to be alone to recharge. Today I can look forward to being alone.